Cindy Lou

Journal to share my thoughts and daily events with friends and family
in my journey through Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML).

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Bittersweet anniversary

Last night Libby and I went to dinner to celebrate 3 years of surviving my bone marrow transplant. It was a bittersweet celebration. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to be alive, but the conversation was mostly about my dad. I am having a very hard time. I am not ready to let him go. And celebrating my victory over cancer does not seem right when he will not be able to achieve that same victory. We have a 1 week window here before we see the cancer doctor again and the chemo begins. So this week is devoted to my dad, spending time doing the things he used to like to do. My brothers and Kyle are taking him fishing one day. We are trying to arrange a trip to the casino if he is up to it. Craig is planning on taking him to Amish country to visit his dairy farmers he got for Toft's dairy. And we hope to go see various relatives. Thank you for all your prayers. Maybe, just maybe a miracle will happen.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

bad news

hi everyone,
yesterday was a bad day. I received the news that my father has pancreatic cancer in the advanced stages.This is a man who has always been the "rock" in my life. He is just 75 years old and up until yesterday was still working. He has been employed at Toft's dairy since I was a baby, over 50 years ago. Yesterday his world came to a standstill. So did mine. No more work, no more driving, no more vacations. Hospice is already involved. Just one day and his world just stops. It's not fair! This can't be happening! I hate cancer! I hate, I hate it, I hate it. I know I'm being selfish, because I'm just not ready to let him go. I'll miss my Tuesday morning coffee's with him. I'll miss the smell of his Old Spice he leaves on my cheek when he kisses me goodbye. I'll miss his support through all my difficult days. I'll miss the sight of his truck pulling into my drive bringing me my milk or ice cream that he got just for me. I'll miss his songs at Christmas time that made us all laugh. There is so much I'm going to miss. But for now, I'm just going to spend as much time as I can with him. Let him know how much he means to me. MY DAD.

Friday, July 03, 2009

Life is good

Hi everyone,
I know it has been a long time since my last post and I just wanted to let everyone know I am alive and well. Life is good! I have had a few scares this year, but nothing like what I went through 3 years ago and overall I am feeling well. I had a wonderful opportunity to meet with my surviving bone marrow friend, Gina last week for a wonderful evening at Table 45 in Cleveland. It was compliments of her boss and we were seated at the chef's table and he cooked our dinner right there! What a night! What a celebration of 3 years of surviving! Thank you!
Kyle and I celebrated 37 years of marriage on June 24. It also means so much to both of us to be able to share each others company and enjoy our life together. We have had quite a life with many bumps in the road,but our love has seen us through those times and it feels like we are reaping the rewards. I love him so much!
I have been working many hours trying to keep our heads above water and I am feeling very well at this time. Kyle's insurance has changed dramatically and we are having many medical bills. But they have been understanding so far with the payments we are able to make, so that is a blessing. Kyle does all of the housework, so when I am home I don't have to do much. I feel like a Princess!