Cindy Lou

Journal to share my thoughts and daily events with friends and family
in my journey through Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML).

Thursday, July 16, 2009

bad news

hi everyone,
yesterday was a bad day. I received the news that my father has pancreatic cancer in the advanced stages.This is a man who has always been the "rock" in my life. He is just 75 years old and up until yesterday was still working. He has been employed at Toft's dairy since I was a baby, over 50 years ago. Yesterday his world came to a standstill. So did mine. No more work, no more driving, no more vacations. Hospice is already involved. Just one day and his world just stops. It's not fair! This can't be happening! I hate cancer! I hate, I hate it, I hate it. I know I'm being selfish, because I'm just not ready to let him go. I'll miss my Tuesday morning coffee's with him. I'll miss the smell of his Old Spice he leaves on my cheek when he kisses me goodbye. I'll miss his support through all my difficult days. I'll miss the sight of his truck pulling into my drive bringing me my milk or ice cream that he got just for me. I'll miss his songs at Christmas time that made us all laugh. There is so much I'm going to miss. But for now, I'm just going to spend as much time as I can with him. Let him know how much he means to me. MY DAD.


  • At 11:09 PM, Blogger daleen said…

    So sorry Cindy, to hear of your dad's illness. It must be difficult to grasp when it happens so fast. It is not selfish of you for not being ready to let him go. No matter how long we have our dad it is never long enough when we love them so much.
    May you draw strength from your wonderful family and your faith. I will keep him and all of you in my prayers.

  • At 10:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We are so very sorry to hear this news. Will keep your family in our prayers.

  • At 2:44 PM, Blogger Jacki said…

    I'm so sorry to hear this news. I can't even imagine.

  • At 11:57 PM, Blogger Jan said…

    Ah Cindy, I was so sorry to hear the news about your Dad. Cancer is such a mean and vicious disease. I just want you to know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers. We never know when we might lose our parents but when something like this happens it just reinforces the knowledge that life is precious and we need to take advantage of each moment. Hope you are able to spend all the time you can with your Dad.


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