Cindy Lou

Journal to share my thoughts and daily events with friends and family
in my journey through Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML).

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Remembering Susan

Well guys, I have had a rough week since I last wrote. I think I am better now and can talk about it. After our wonderful celebration of my one year "birthday", Gina and I (Gina is one of my bone marrow buddies who had her transplant one week after me) decided to call our other buddy, Susan, who had her transplant the same day as I did to arrange a "birthday celebration" for the three of us. We became very close during our stay at Cleveland Clinic and we are all nurses, so the bond was strong. Well, when I called Susan, her son answered and told me Susan had passed away. She never told me her leukemia had returned. I hadn't spoken to her in a few weeks, but I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I called my nurse at Cleveland Clinic, who was also Susan and Gina's nurse to talk to her. She told me how sorry she was that she could not tell me at my appointment, but with HIPPA now her hands were tied. I completely understand, being in the nursing profession...she could lose her job. But, since I now knew she could talk to me about it and she told me Susan did not want Gina and I to know because we may think that this was going to be our road also. I just wish I had known to be a comfort to her in her final days. I'm told she went very quickly and peacefully. She only lasted a few weeks after they discovered the leukemia had returned. So, even though you don't know her, please say a silent prayer for her family for me. She has a son still in high school, whom I spoke with, and a daughter in college and a loving husband, whom I'm sure is having a hard time. Thank you all. There, but for the grace of God, go I.


  • At 11:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    So sorry to hear about your friend Susan. I can imagine how you felt when you received the news. I will add some prayers for her family and keep the prayers coming in your direction also. LOVE---MOM ROTH AND RALPH

  • At 6:32 AM, Anonymous Jan said…

    This is just another "slap" across the back of our heads... to remind us how precarious life can be and to make sure we enjoy each and every precious moment that we have together. I'm sure Susan would want you to celebrate your days of "living" and not dwell on her death. She will be in our prayers.
    We continue to be thankful that you have fought the fight and are with us today. God Bless you, Cindy.

  • At 9:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey Bella,
    I am so sorry about Susan and the loss her family is feeling and I will pray for them. You need to remember it is NOT you, Cindy. It was a wake-up call for all of us. You need to focus on your new home and new life. The doctor's are reducing your meds at the time that Susan's cancer came back. Libby was a perfect match and it doesn't get any better than that. Cindy, ALL of us worry that the aches we are feeling mean something more, especially now that we are getting older. I just went through some tests and was a nervous wreck, myself. I didn't think of what it would mean for me, but what it would do to my family. So far, everything is coming back great but I was always one to say that only the good Lord knows when we will check out since He was in charge when we all checked in. So, let's all live each day to the fullest and not think what tomorrow will hold- no one knows that. Your mental attitude got you through the darkest days so start your mantra all over of Yes I can, Yes I did and YES I WILL. We can't change yesterday or worry about tomorrow. All we can do is be thankful for today and surround ourselves with positive thoughts and people we love. I love ya, Bella!

  • At 12:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Abby , so sorry for the bad news , I can't even begin to think what you and her family are going through . You have to continue your positive attitude.We just have to remember it is Gods will , and he has a plan for each of us , sometimes its hard to understand . But keep the faith and continue your journey to the future. We will pray for Susan and her family and also for you to stay strong . we love you Julie

  • At 5:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am sorry to hear of your friend's passing. Will keep her and her family in my prayers.

  • At 10:30 AM, Blogger Steve said…

    Hi Cindy: Glad to hear you are doing well after one year and sorry to hear about your friend. Fortunately I was so isolated during my transplant, I only met one other person who received a transplant at the same time as I did. She's doing well and we still talk every few months. I'm in a young adult cancer survivor support group and we've only lost one that I know of but it was a tough one for everyone so I know how you feel.

    Sounds like you're still on some meds. Be sure to follow your doctor's instructions carefully and don't rush your taper off them. After a full year of countless meds, all I cared about was getting off asap. It can be a long process or at least it was for me. Just before my one year mark, I got slapped with a major case of GVHD that stalled my full recovery for another year and another year of prednisone. Two hip replacements later (caused by prednisone) I'm doing great.

    Take care
    - Steve Wicker (1,624 days)


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