Cindy Lou

5 Years!!! What a Miracle!

2011-07-25T15:12:00.002-04:00

I never in my wildest dreams believed I would ever be able to say I was a 5 year survivor of one of the worst types of cancer, AML. But I can and it is nothing short of a miracle! God has certainly smiled on me and decided there is more for me to do on this earth. Oh it has not been an easy journey and I still struggle from the side effects of treatment, but it is a miracle I am even here. I will never be the same physically, or emotionally as I was before cancer. My life is a new normal if you can call anything about it normal. I do live each day as though I may not see tomorrow, for we never know...... I am blessed to have so many people in my life who love me. And I am blessed to have a sister who gave me the gift of a second chance at life. I just want to say to all my friends, family, supporters, and caregivers, thank you! Life is good!

4 years of a second chance

2010-07-25T09:53:00.002-04:00

Hi Everyone,
I don't know if anyone still checks this, but it is good therapy to put my thoughts into words. It has been 4 years today since I was given a second chance to live. On July 25, 2006 I received life saving bone marrow from my sister, Libby, that saved me from certain death at the hands of acute myelogenous leukemia. I thank the Lord every day for my second chance. It has not been an easy road, physically, financially, or psychologically. However, I am so blessed to be here. It gives you a different perspective on everything in life. Granted we have basically wiped out our retirement savings and I will be working until I'm 70, God willing, but I'm fortunate that I'm able to work at all. I'm fortunate to be able to see the sunrise and sunset each day and view them with awe. I'm blessed with beautiful grandchildren whom I enjoy spending as much time as I can with. I'm blessed with a wonderful husband who does all he can to let me know how much I mean to him. I am blessed with a large extended family with whom I enjoy spending time. All of this was made possible by a small bag of bone marrow donated by my sister and for that I am so grateful!

Goodbye Dad

2009-10-10T15:09:00.002-04:00

It is with a heavy heart that I post the news of the death of my father. He passed away last night right after we had all just left his house. I had just gone to bed when I got the call. He passed peacefully without a sound. We all raced back to his house to say our last goodbyes. I know he was still there, lingering, telling us not to cry, but to celebrate what a good life he had. But that is hard to do. My heart is broke in a million pieces. I just want to lay my head on his chest and hear him tell me it's going to be alright. I will never be the same. He meant so much to me. I will never have coffee with him on Tuesday mornings again.....well maybe when I join him in the beautiful place he is now. I know he is smiling down on me from above. I wonder if there are slot machines there.....if there are he just hit the jackpot! Goodbye, my precious daddy.

Time for Dad

2009-09-22T11:15:00.002-04:00

I have been spending as much time as I can with Dad, as have my brothers and sister. It is so hard to see him like this, so helpless. He has never had to depend on anyone in his whole life, in fact he was always the one we depended on. It breaks my heart. He has lost all independence. It is so devastating to see the rapid deterioration this disease has caused. 2 months ago ... he was still working. He drove from work to the doctors office where he received the news. It was the last day of work. He barely speaks any more and when he does it is in hushed tones, barely audible. A fleeting smile will cross his face when I arrive and I can hear him whisper my name. I love him so much. I'm sure sometimes he can see the agony on my face, even though I try to hide it. We have all been taking turns spending the night there, for Marge and for him. With all those children, we have a sign up sheet and there is never a night someone can't be there. I have been telling him all the things I want him to know. Sometimes we lose sight of what we need to say in the hustle of everyday life. But we all have been letting him know. He was always so proud to say he and Marge had 15 kids. He loves us all and we love him. It is just so hard to say goodbye.

Take me out to the ballgame.....

2009-08-25T11:11:00.002-04:00

Last night my brothers took my dad to the Toledo Mudhens game. They all enjoyed themselves. It was hard for my brothers to see him so weak, but they loaded him up, wheelchair and all, and made the trip for him. He always loved going there and sitting in the Toft's seats. He was always generous in offering those seats to our family over the years. It was a night to remember for all involved. In the back of everyone's mind was the fact that this was his last trip there and they made it a special one for him. They were in tears at the seventh inning when he began singing "take me out to the ball game" in his very weak voice. He savored the night in his memory as did the boys. We love you Dad!

Wedding Weekend

2009-08-07T11:59:00.002-04:00

Our family is preparing for a 3 day weekend with family for the wedding of my nephew, Bryce, and his bride, Monica. I am just going to savor the moments spent with all of them. My house will be full with my children here and I can hardly wait. (Kyle and Erika are the only ones not able to make it and we will miss them) These events mean so much to me. Life is so precious. We take so much for granted. Children move away and I find myself longing for their presence. My life has always been soooo about my children. As my life enters the autumn era, I all too often reminisce of the happy times of our life together and I want them to always know what they mean to me. The events of the last two weeks only reminds me of the importance of family. My Dad started chemo this week and he is being so strong. I am trying to be. The prognosis is not good. But this weekend, there will be dancing and singing and reminiscing and of course the "500 mile dance". And I will cherish every minute, for none of us know when we will all be together in such a large reunion again. And I Will Walk 500 Miles And I Would Walk 500 More.............

Bittersweet anniversary

2009-07-26T10:29:00.002-04:00

Last night Libby and I went to dinner to celebrate 3 years of surviving my bone marrow transplant. It was a bittersweet celebration. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled to be alive, but the conversation was mostly about my dad. I am having a very hard time. I am not ready to let him go. And celebrating my victory over cancer does not seem right when he will not be able to achieve that same victory. We have a 1 week window here before we see the cancer doctor again and the chemo begins. So this week is devoted to my dad, spending time doing the things he used to like to do. My brothers and Kyle are taking him fishing one day. We are trying to arrange a trip to the casino if he is up to it. Craig is planning on taking him to Amish country to visit his dairy farmers he got for Toft's dairy. And we hope to go see various relatives. Thank you for all your prayers. Maybe, just maybe a miracle will happen.

bad news

2009-07-16T20:53:00.002-04:00

hi everyone,
yesterday was a bad day. I received the news that my father has pancreatic cancer in the advanced stages.This is a man who has always been the "rock" in my life. He is just 75 years old and up until yesterday was still working. He has been employed at Toft's dairy since I was a baby, over 50 years ago. Yesterday his world came to a standstill. So did mine. No more work, no more driving, no more vacations. Hospice is already involved. Just one day and his world just stops. It's not fair! This can't be happening! I hate cancer! I hate, I hate it, I hate it. I know I'm being selfish, because I'm just not ready to let him go. I'll miss my Tuesday morning coffee's with him. I'll miss the smell of his Old Spice he leaves on my cheek when he kisses me goodbye. I'll miss his support through all my difficult days. I'll miss the sight of his truck pulling into my drive bringing me my milk or ice cream that he got just for me. I'll miss his songs at Christmas time that made us all laugh. There is so much I'm going to miss. But for now, I'm just going to spend as much time as I can with him. Let him know how much he means to me. MY DAD.

Life is good

2009-07-03T09:21:00.002-04:00

Hi everyone,
I know it has been a long time since my last post and I just wanted to let everyone know I am alive and well. Life is good! I have had a few scares this year, but nothing like what I went through 3 years ago and overall I am feeling well. I had a wonderful opportunity to meet with my surviving bone marrow friend, Gina last week for a wonderful evening at Table 45 in Cleveland. It was compliments of her boss and we were seated at the chef's table and he cooked our dinner right there! What a night! What a celebration of 3 years of surviving! Thank you!
Kyle and I celebrated 37 years of marriage on June 24. It also means so much to both of us to be able to share each others company and enjoy our life together. We have had quite a life with many bumps in the road,but our love has seen us through those times and it feels like we are reaping the rewards. I love him so much!
I have been working many hours trying to keep our heads above water and I am feeling very well at this time. Kyle's insurance has changed dramatically and we are having many medical bills. But they have been understanding so far with the payments we are able to make, so that is a blessing. Kyle does all of the housework, so when I am home I don't have to do much. I feel like a Princess!

Life is short

2008-11-11T10:50:00.003-05:00

Hi Everyone
I'm sure you can tell by the title that this is not going to be a happy post. One of my friends from childhood passed away on Saturday. He lived on the farm across the street from ours and I spent many a day there during my childhood. His sister was one of my best friends. His funeral is tomorrow. He passed out in the milkhouse last week and after several surgeries, succumbed to an aneurysm. He was 55 years old. Too young. Life is too short. He leaves behind many who are going to miss him tremendously. As I have said before in many of my posts, we need to savor every day, every hour we have here. Only the Lord knows our final hour. It was Dave's hour. So, I will call my children today and tell them I love them again. I will give my husband an extra long hug to let him know how much he means to me. I will call my parents and tell them I love them. And I am telling all of you how much you mean to me. Your support of me and my family has made a big difference in our lives. And remember "seize the day".

Update

2008-08-19T11:40:00.002-04:00

Well I have just had 3 glorious days in a row! On Saturday we went on the Goodtime Cruise to Kelley's Island with some friends and relatives. It was a perfect night. The sunset was so beautiful on the way there. While at the island we had a great time dancing and enjoying the beverages that are unique to the island. As I was enjoying myself, I remembered what I was doing 2 years ago on that date and I savored every moment like it was my last on the island. On the way home, the full moon was breathtaking and I likewise drank in the sight and smell of the lake and the company of friends. It was a most enjoyable evening. The following evening I met with my fellow bone marrow survivor, Gina, at Chez Francois restaurant in Vermilion to celebrate our 2 year rebirthday together. We had a lovely waterfront table and once again I had the opportunity to savor a lovely sunset on the water. We had a most magnificent dinner complete with dessert and a toast to our absent bone marrow buddy, Susan, who passed away last June. It is a ritual we observe every year on our anniversary and I am sure she is there in spirit. We will never forget how fortunate we are to be here to enjoy such things. Then, Monday was my appointment at the Cleveland Clinic and I can honestly say that for the first time, I had a good feeling about going. I was not worried at all that my counts would be bad or that the nasty word "leukemia" would come into my conversation with the doctor. All of my counts were normal and I graduated to 4 month appointments now instead of 3 month intervals. So my next appt will not be until December! Allelulia! Life Is Good!

Happy Birthday

2008-07-25T11:15:00.002-04:00

Hello Everyone

Today is the 2nd anniversary of my bone marrow transplant! What a glorious feeling! I feel like a 2 year old! I have a second chance at life! What a beautiful day it is..the sun is shining, the birds are happily chirping outside my window, the flowers are beautiful, the smell of summer fills our home, and God is smiling on me. Two years ago on this day I embarked on a precarious journey I knew nothing about with great trepidation (although I didn't let anyone know). Now, 2 years later I feel like I Made It, I really AM going to live! I AM going to live to celebrate my 50th wedding anniversary, I AM going to see my grandchildren graduate and become fine adults, I AM going to be able to savor all the moments I so looked forward to in my life. I Am here. It is a miracle and I will be eternally grateful for this second chance at "The Dance"

2 year survivor and counting

2008-05-05T10:18:00.003-04:00

This week is the 2 year anniversary of my debut into the world of cancer! I entered Cleveland Clinic on May 1, 2006 for chemo and started my scary journey through a world I had no knowledge of until that day. Of course I had learned all about it in nursing school.... but that did little to prepare me for what I was about to experience. All of you know the harrowing details so I will not go into depth, instead I am focused on the positive. I AM A SURVIVOR, YES I AM! And even though it was a rough journey, It could have been a lot worse. I have seen two of my bone marrow buddies succumb to the same disease that we all fought so valiantly. They are my heroes. They fought until the end. I am a survivor and I live my life as a survivor. I am a different person than I was going into this fight. I look at life a lot differently. My days begin with thanking the Lord for one more day to call myself a survivor. I savor things I used to take for granted. I am an Angel Mentor to those who are beginning this frightening journey. I thank the Lord every single day for all of you who were there for myself and my family and still are. There is a reason I survived and I will make a difference in the lives of the people I touch. Yes, I Can!

News from the Roth's

2008-04-24T11:15:00.003-04:00

I have been feeling great and I have been working a LOT, which means I have not had much time to let all of you know what is going on in my world. Unfortunately, Kyle's aunt Marilyn passed away early this month and it was a very sad time for our family. She was very involved in all of our lives and she will be missed tremendously. It makes us all more aware of our own mortality and that we should savor each and every day, for only the Lord knows our final hour. We continue to live by this philosophy since my diagnosis and I pray I have many more years, but in the meantime I enjoy each and every day. On a lighter note, we have leased our old house on Central Ave to a family who has wanted it since last year. They have leased with the option to buy. It will make it much easier on us without the double utilities and extra house payment. They are very excited to move in and it makes me feel good to see a family there that will appreciate our lovely home. Of course, It is bittersweet, since I love that house and have so many memories there. But it will make it much easier on us, as it has been a serious financial worry for us. Kyle and Marcie are doing well and we are all anxious to get outside in our new home and plant some grass and flowers. Everything is so fresh and new! I have my next appt at Cleveland Clinic on May 19 and will let you know how it goes. I was reading my journal today from my bone marrow transplant and it is amazing some of the things I don't remember. I guess I must have hidden those things deep in my subconscious. I am so very fortunate to have all of you who supported me all the way Thank you again!

Cleveland Clinic

2008-02-19T10:19:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone,
I know I haven't posted for a while, but I have been working a lot because we have not sold our old house, and now we have 2 house payments. Hopefully, with Spring will come a buyer! Consequently, because I have been working a lot, when I am home all I want to do is sleep it seems. I was a little worried to go to see my oncologist in Cleveland, because some times that can be a sign that the leukemia is coming back. Yesterday was my day at the clinic and I am sooo very happy to report that my counts were all good and Dr Kalaycio is decreasing my prednisone (finally) and I will be off of it by summer, if I do not have any flare ups of graft vs host. I did get some bad news recently that I had developed cataracts from the prednisone and I will probably have to have surgery some time this year to remove them, it is one of the side effects of long term steroid use.
At least it is fixable, and hey I am still here enjoying life! I know the prednisone is a necessary evil for me to be able to live, so I think I have been handling all the side effects pretty well. I continue to wake up every morning and thank God for one more day. Each day is a bonus and I am going to enjoy each and every one. Thank you everyone for your continued support. It means more than you will ever know!

Merry Christmas

2007-12-25T20:11:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas Everyone!
I know you all probably have been wondering what happened to me the last few months, well I have been doing okay. I have just been so busy . We moved to our new home the second week of November and it all has been a little much for me with unpacking, preparing Thanksgiving dinner for the first time since my illness, and then preparing for Christmas, and trying to work 4 days a week. I was very fatigued many days and kept worrying that the leukemia was coming back, but I got a good report at my last check up at Cleveland Clinic and so I do not have to return there untill February, unless something changes in my health. The picture above is from our new home. It is so lovely and I feel so blessed to be able to have such a home. God certainly is smiling on me! I just feel so lucky to even be able to do this. I feel there is a purpose for me here and I am trying to find what that is. I also just feel so fortunate to be here to spend time with those who are so important to me. Each day I savor the hugs, the tears, the smiles, and most of all the fact that I am still here to experience all these things. I wake up every morning and thank God for one more day. Thank you all for your continued prayers and love. I love all of you. Merry Christmas.

2 month clinic appt

2007-09-26T09:17:00.000-04:00

I went for my 1 yr + 2 month appt at the clinic yesterday and all of my counts are staying in the normal range! Yipee!!!!! My Dr says I am doing good and we discussed the death of my friend Susan a little. I still think of her often. Meanwhile, I thank the Lord for every day that I have here and I appreciate the smallest things I used to take for granted; a sunset boat ride with friends, a sunny day, the smell of rain in the air, clouds that are floating by, a visit from grandchildren, a kiss on the cheek, sharing a glass a wine with old friends, and the list could go on and on. i do believe there is a reason I am still here and I know there is a purpose out there for me. I am going to sign up for the Angel Patient Mentor Program to assist other patients who are going through the bone marrow transplant process, to help them along the way and to know what to expect. It is not an easy road, but I hope I can be of some help. Thank you to all of you for aiding me in my journey. Your love and support has carried me through many a difficult day. I came across this poem from one of the bone marrow transplant patients and I thought I would pass it on to you. It is callsd "The Dance"
"It seems like only yesterday my doctor told me I had cancer, and when Iasked "How long do I have?" he didn't have an answer. And it seemed to me that time stood still and the room turned upside down. Life just stopped and I stared at him and I didn't hear a sound. And a thousand years flashed before my eyes as I thought of all I'd miss. Of the laughs and smiles of those I loved and my husbands kiss. And I realized right then and there all the time that I had wasted, on worrying of silly things like bills and work and squabbles. Well, one year has come and gone and I'm still at The Dance. I guess God just changed his mind and gave me another chance. And on that day I made a vow I would let go of the past. To live my life and love each day as if it were my last. For only God can know these things: the day, the hour, the time, but on this day I am alive and all the world is mine!"
I couldn't have said it better!

Remembering Susan

2007-08-07T19:52:00.000-04:00

Well guys, I have had a rough week since I last wrote. I think I am better now and can talk about it. After our wonderful celebration of my one year "birthday", Gina and I (Gina is one of my bone marrow buddies who had her transplant one week after me) decided to call our other buddy, Susan, who had her transplant the same day as I did to arrange a "birthday celebration" for the three of us. We became very close during our stay at Cleveland Clinic and we are all nurses, so the bond was strong. Well, when I called Susan, her son answered and told me Susan had passed away. She never told me her leukemia had returned. I hadn't spoken to her in a few weeks, but I felt like someone punched me in the stomach. I called my nurse at Cleveland Clinic, who was also Susan and Gina's nurse to talk to her. She told me how sorry she was that she could not tell me at my appointment, but with HIPPA now her hands were tied. I completely understand, being in the nursing profession...she could lose her job. But, since I now knew she could talk to me about it and she told me Susan did not want Gina and I to know because we may think that this was going to be our road also. I just wish I had known to be a comfort to her in her final days. I'm told she went very quickly and peacefully. She only lasted a few weeks after they discovered the leukemia had returned. So, even though you don't know her, please say a silent prayer for her family for me. She has a son still in high school, whom I spoke with, and a daughter in college and a loving husband, whom I'm sure is having a hard time. Thank you all. There, but for the grace of God, go I.

One year old!

2007-07-27T11:01:00.000-04:00

Tuesday, July 24 was my one year appointment post bone marrow transplant with my doctor at Cleveland Clinic. We got wonderful news! All of my blood counts are within normal limits and there is no sign of a return of the leukemia. We were elated. So now, they will start tapering me off all the medications I am on and watch closely for signs of graft vs host. One year ago I never dreamed I would have the kind of day I had on Tuesday and Wednesday. Tuesday evening, we went to Legacy Village with son, Kyle and his wife, Erika and their two children to Brio for dinner. We had a delightful time and I had the most delicious steak! (One year ago I could barely keep water down!) We spent the night with them and then on Wednesday, Libby and I spent the day at Mario's Spa in Aurora. We got the works! We even had a champagne lunch! I felt like a Queen! Again, one year ago, I could never have imagined this! That evening, Kyle and I took Libby and Joe to dinner at Mallorca's in the downtown warehouse district. It was absolutely lovely. How can we ever repay her for my life? I feel so blessed. I have so many people still praying for my recovery and I am do thankful for each and every one of you. You were the angels who carried me when I could not walk and I am grateful beyond words. The picture above was taken in our soon to be new home. We are toasting our life, our home , our family, our friends and our many blessings. Marcie went with us and took the picture. We are looking forward to our new life thanks to the grace of God. I believe I have a purpose to help others going through this process.

Off to Disney

2007-06-16T11:33:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I had a bad sinus infection that had me under the weather for some time. I just felt like sleeping all the time. I am finally better just in time to take off with Zac, Lauren, Bailey and Riley for Disneyworld. We are going to a wedding in Disney on Monday. Zac and Lauren's friends, Pete Maschari and Gina Pulizzi, are being married in the Magic Kingdom. Pete is the son of one of my friends, Cheryl Ohlemacher. Then will will visit the other parks also the rest of the week. I am really looking forward to it! I will post when I get back and try to put some pictures on here if I can figure out how to do it. Thank you all for continuing to keep me in your prayers. It means so much!

Best Mother's Day

2007-05-18T04:57:00.000-04:00

I have to say I had the best Mother's day of my life this year. My children and grandchildrem all came home and took me to brunch at Lyman Harbor. What a treat! I am so proud of the adults they have all become. They carry my spirit in them, each and every one of them in different ways. And those grandchildren! They are just a delight to behold. I could just sit and watch them for hours. The way they interact with each other is a wondrous thing to behold. Thank you Jessie, Mike, Kyle, Erika, Zac and Lauren for giving me the most precious gifts in the world. Those little faces kept me going on my darkest days. Later in the evening, Doug, Craig, Cindi, Kyle and I took my mom out for dinner and it was nice to see her enjoy her day also. On a sad note, Marcie fell down the stairs when we were getting ready to go out. She kept complaining that her arm hurt, but she does that for the littlest things and always acts like she is dying, so we told her it would feel better tomorrow. Well it did'nt and so we had to get it x-rayed and you guessed it ... it is fractured at the elbow joint. So. she has to see an orthopedic Dr today and she will be off work for a while. So none of you will see her "smiling" face at Kroger for a while. Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers and think of my daughter-in-law, Erika, and I on Sunday. That is the day of the Marathon in Cleveland and I will be there to watch her cross the finish line with a big smile and lots of gratitude for her efforts to raise money to fight this horrible disease.

Exciting month for the Roth's

2007-04-29T10:31:00.000-04:00

What a beautiful Sunday morning it is and I am so thankful I am here to drink in the sunshine and enjoy this day. The smell of spring, the birds chirping, my tulips blooming, and the trees budding all mean so much more to me this year. We have had quite an exciting month in April. We are finally going to get to build our new home! All the plans are in and we are just waiting for them to start digging. It is exciting, yet scary at the same time, because I think about "what if I have a setback" and can't work.....should we do this? But, at the same time, I know I can't live my life worrying about the what if's. I've learned to live each day to the fullest and "seize the day."The builders presented us with a package we could not refuse and it just seems like it was meant to be this way. So, this month has been spent getting our house up for sale and picking out every thing for our new one. Very busy! Also, my daughter-in-law, Erika, is doing better and she has even been able to restart her training for next month's Marathon. She is going to run! She will be getting her insulin pump put in soon and that will make it much easier for her to control her blood sugars. Thank you all for the prayers you have said for her and I. We are very thankful in the Roth family!

Glorious Easter Day

2007-04-10T10:01:00.000-04:00

I know most of you were dismayed with the weather on Easter, but I just had to tell you that I had the most glorious Easter Day. Kyle and I went to church and came back home to our whole family. Marcie, Jessie, Mike, Kyle, Erika, Zac, Lauren and all 7 grandchildren were there. Again I savored every moment I had with them. We all had brunch and my brothers and sisters joined us. Craig, Cindi, Doug, Tony, Connie, Libby and children came and it was a very emotional day for me to be with everyone and enjoy their company. It was my very best Easter!

Monthly Clinic Visit

2007-03-29T07:28:00.000-04:00

I am flying high as I right this. My clinic visist yesterday was my personal best. All of my blood counts are in the normal range for the first time in 2 years! And I don't have to go back to Cleveland for 2 months!!!!! My doctor says I am doing WONDERFUL. I was just about to burst into tears and I must have said "thank you" a thousand times. He said keep up the good work. He did decrease my Prednisone, but not as much as I'd like. But I will get there. I just had to share this with all of you, who have carried me through this long journey with your prayers and help. I felt like I was walking on a cloud out of the Clinic. Thank you and bless you all.

Bittersweet 2 weeks

2007-03-26T10:25:00.001-04:00

Since I have last written quite a few changes have happened in my life. First on March 14, my son, Kyle, called to ask if Dad and I could come to Cleveland to watch the kids. His wife, Erika's blood sugar had skyrocketed to 650 and she was being admitted to the hospital. I was so worried about her all the way there. She was in the hospital for a few days and they did get it stabilized, but she has now been diagnosed as a Type I diabetic and will have to test her blood several times a day and give herself insulin injections for the rest of her life. A hard pill to swallow for a 27 year old healthy active young woman. Of course, I do not want her to run in the Leukemia Foundation race in May, but she promises me that she will follow the doctor's recommendations. The second thing that happened was that my friend and neighbor of27 years, Judith Bartow, passed away on March 15 while we were in Cleveland. She also was diagnosed with cancer about 1 year before I was, However hers was in her gallbladder. She fought a valiant fight and will be terribly missed in our neighborhood. She was our "party lady" and started our Christmas in July parties. It was a very hard thing for me to go to her funeral, but I felt good supporting her husband and children. Then, on a sweet note....... yesterday was our grandson, Kade's, 3rd birthday party! He is a pirate fanatic and he had all the trimmings! His mommy even made him a pirate ship cake that far outrivaled any I have ever seen. It is so delightful for me to watch all 7 of my grandchildren frolic and play together and it was the most beautiful day! I drank in and savored every moment of the day. Just to be here today and enjoy them.

Team Roth

2007-03-11T15:50:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to put a plug in for my wonderful daughter-in-law, Erika. She is running in The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's marathon in Cleveland on May 20 in my honor. I am so proud of her determination to train for this through the bad weather, with little babies at home and no time. I told her I don't think I could ever do that and she said "well, I could never go through what you've been through". All of the money she raises for this marathon goes to research for a cure for these awful diseases, so maybe someday, other people will not have to go through what I and my family have been through. She still is short of her goal, so if you can give I would be most appreciative! And a special thank you to all the people who have so generously donated, your kindness touches my soul!

Results?

2007-03-11T15:34:00.000-04:00

My nurse called with the results of my biopsies and said that they were "nonconclusive", but that the doctor still thinks it is graft vs host, so he wants me to stay on the Prednisone until my appointment on the 27th this month, until he sees me. I am not real happy about this, because if it is not GVH then I don't need the Prednisone, which could be doing damage to my muscles and organs. But, I have to trust my doctor, he has gotten me this far and I feel so fortunate to be alive that I will do what he says. I seem to be gaining some stamina at work and I have been able to work a whole 8 hour shift without being totally exhausted and that is an accomplishment! I also am able to swallow better and that has helped get some nutrition into my body. I just wake up every morning and thank the Lord that I am able to enjoy this day! God bless you all and keep me in your prayers.......I think it's working!

EGD results

2007-03-06T10:47:00.000-05:00

Last Friday, I had the EGD done and the doctor dilated my esophagus. He said it was the size of a pinkie finger and he stretched it as far as he could, but I will probably have to have it done again in the future. He took biopsies of my esophagus and stomach which he thought showed signs of graft vs host disease. The final results will not be available until the end of this week, but he was pretty sure. I was out cold for the rest of the day Friday! On a positive note, I seem to be feeling much better since I started the Prednisone. I am not as fatigued as I was and I even worked an 8 hour shift and didn't feel exhausted. Plus the fact that I can actually eat food now helps. So, I am enjoying the bright sunshine today, even though it is very cold out. I am looking forward to spring and enjoying my summer this year, since we really didn't get to last year. Talk with you soon!

New graft vs host

2007-02-28T09:44:00.000-05:00

Sorry I have not written for so long, our computer was down for about 3 weeks. Kyle was on the phone with technical support for about an hour and finally got it going again. Had my monthly appt with with Dr Kalaycio on Monday and he is putting me back on the Prednisone. He told me at my Feb appt that if I lost any more weight I would have to go back on it because he thought I was having some symptoms of graft vs host of the GI tract. I have been having difficulty swallowing anything except liguids and he said that graft vs host can cause narrowing of the esophagus, causing this symptom. Also, I am just not hungry, so I have to force myself to eat the little bits I do eat. I lost 7 pounds this month and 11 last month. Kyle has been making me delicious milkshakes, but even that has not helped. Consequently, the Dr is going to do an EGD on Friday, March 2 to get a biopsy of my stomach and esophagus to confirm his diagnosis of GVHD. The EGD involves putting a scope down my throat and taking small pieces of tissue from my stomach and esophagus. Also, while they are in there they will stretch my esophagus so it will be easier for me to swallow. I know this may sound like a lot to all of you, but I would rather have this than the liver biopsy they were talking about a few months ago. Also, this is nothing compared to what some of my bone marrow buddies have been going through. I feel fortunate that after my initial setbacks early in my recovery, I have been doing pretty good, and I am the only one that has gone back to work so far! I feel that is an accomplishment in itself! Even though I am not working many hours yet, it has been wonderful for my psychological well being. So, thank you for all the prayers and love that have gotten me this far. I am eternally grateful!

No biopsy

2007-01-29T08:08:00.000-05:00

My oncologist in Cleveland has decided not to do the liver biopsy, which delighted me. However, he still thinks that is what is going on (graft vs host of the liver) so I had to start a new anti rejection drug, but at least it is not Prednisone, which has so many nasty side effects. My liver labs came back about the same as last week and he wants to try this approach, before going to the Prednisone. So, if the labs go down next month, I will stick with this new treatment. I also do not have to have that 4 hour infusion anymore because I had an allergic reaction to it on Friday. After my appointment we went to visit Kyle and Erika and Kade and Liv. We had a very nice evening with them. It seems Liv grows so much each time we see her, and Kade is always in heaven when he has his Papa to play with. We are so thankful to have them in Cleveland. It makes the trip worthwhile. Thanks to all of you who continue to pray for me and my family!

Back to work

2007-01-23T19:41:00.000-05:00

As all of you know I went back to work last week and it went really good the first 2 days, but then I did something crazy and tried to work 8 hours on saturday and sunday.......and I paid for it. I just thought it went so well when I worked the 4 hour shifts that I would be able to do it, but my body said WHOA NELLIE! I slept most of the day on Monday and I realize I was expecting too much out of my body at this point....so I am back on 4 hour shifts for a while. The doctors didn't even expect me to go back this soon, I have to remember that. It sure was good to be back on the floor and see all my friends. It felt like a little bit of normalcy returning to our lives. I know I had tears in my eyes as I pulled out of the driveway and saw Kyle standing in the door, waving goodbye. This would be the first time we have been apart since all of this began and it was an emotional day for both of us. I depend on him for so much, so it was also a little bit scary for me to leave my comfortable little nest he has made for me, but we made it! I also got good news on Thursday...I went to Cleveland for an appointment and they postponed the liver biopsy because my liver functions that were high came down a little bit, so the Dr said we will wait until this Friday when I have another appointment in Cleveland and see if the labs continue to decline. If they do, I may not have to have the liver biopsy, which would make me happy,since I was not looking forward to that procedure at all. So, I will update you after my appointment. Thanks to all of you for your comments and best wishes on my return to work!

Welcome Back

2007-01-21T20:03:00.000-05:00

Photos courtesy of Kim Leck.

Back to Work

2007-01-16T15:06:00.000-05:00

Mom's first day back to work.

Rollercoaster continues

2007-01-10T19:38:00.000-05:00

Well, I have been feeling so good that I thought that I would sail through my Dr appointment after Christmas with flying colors. That was not to be. The good news was that all of my counts (WBC's, RBC's, and platelets) were all close to normal levels. The bad news was my liver function tests were elevated and my Dr suspects graft vs. host of the liver, especially since my legs and feet were swollen to twice their size. Also another lab value (IGG) was on the low side so I was going to have to get that 4 hour infusion of immunoglobins again for the next 4 months. So I just received that on Monday here in Sandusky at the new cancer center at Firelands..... how beautiful it is in there! And close to home! Then yesterday, I woke up with a sunburn type rash on my face, so I called my nurse as I am supposed to when anything abnormal happens, and she set me up for a skin biopsy today in Cleveland. The Dr suspected graft vs. host of the skin as well. This morning I woke up with no rash..... so I called my nurse and she was off today, so I spoke with someone else and she said I could still come, but I knew they would not biopsy skin with no rash and we certainly do not need another consultation bill for nothing, so I cancelled the appointment and I will talk with my nurse tomorrow. My legs have gone down, but I had repeat labs drawn here on Monday and my liver tests are more extremely elevated than a week ago, so I am assuming the next step will be a liver biopsy and the return to some high doses of prednisone. The Dr says I can still go back to work and I feel really good, so I am looking forward to that. I will keep you updated and to all my friends at TTH.... see you next week! Thank you all for your continued thoughts and prayers.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T09:15:00.000-05:00

What a glorious Christmas morn. Merry, merry Christmas to each and every one of you. As you prepare to celebrate the birth of the Christchild with your families, take a moment to thank Him for the many blessings we all have. It truly is a miracle for me to be here with my family today. Enjoy this glorious day. Merry Christmas to all!!!!!

Happy Holidays

2006-12-21T10:08:00.000-05:00

I know it has been a long time since I have blogged and I guess the only excuse I can use is "no news is good news". I have been feeling well and the doctor gave me the go ahead to go back to work after the first of the year. I was elated! He told me to take it slow so I will do 4 hour shifts at first, but it seems that my life may actually be starting to get back to "normal". Kyle and I have been busy, as I am sure all of you have been with getting ready for Christmas. This Christmas will be very different for us, as all of you who know me well know that I always go overboard at Christmas. Some even go so far as to call me Mrs. Christmas! Well this year will be different. We will be celebrating the true meaning of Christmas. There was little money for gifts and our home didn't get decorated as much as usual.......... but I keep remembering the scene from the Grinch on Christmas morning after he had taken all the toys and Christmas things from the people of Whoville. As they awoke on Christmas morning, they all began to sing of the glorious Christmas morn and the Grinch was confused..... he said " it came without presents, it came without bows, it came without tinsel and turkeys and more.....maybe Christmas doesn't really come from a store, maybe Christmas is really a little bit more!" The true meaning of Christmas will be felt in our home, the love for our children and grandchildren will fill our hearts and we will celebrate the birth of our Lord, Jesus, to whom we owe everything. I thank Him daily for allowing me to see another Christmas with my family, and I pray for many more. To all of you....Merry Christmas my dear friends and thank you for helping me get where I am today. Without you none of this would be possible.

Doctor visit

2006-11-28T11:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Kyle and I went to Cleveland for my monthly doctor appointment and my doctor says I'm doing great. So, we are going to taper off the prednisone and in 2 weeks I will be totally off of it! He is happy with my blood counts and said I can discontinue going to the local oncologist for weeky blood tests! So now I just have my monthly appointment with my Cleveland doctor, unless anything goes wrong, which I am hoping and praying does not happen. They took my Hickman line out too, so now I feel even more free! After my appointment, we went to Kyle and Erika's for dinner and we shared a glass of wine together to celebrate the good news! Erika is going to run in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's marathon next year in my honor! The proceeds go to cancer research and if you would like to donate in my name there is a link on my blog site that you can go to learn more about it. Erika is such a wonderful daughter in law, and I truly appreciate all the hard work it will take for her to train for this. She is so thoughtful and I am so blessed to have her in my life, as well as all the rest of my family and friends. God bless you all.

Much to be thankful for...HAPPY THANKSGIVING

2006-11-22T15:26:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone. I am so happy and so thankful today. I had my weekly blood draw this morning and my platelets once again doubled and are now over 100,000. My nurse from Cleveland clinic called after she was faxed the results and she said my doctor was ecstatic. I have been feeling soooo much better and even get a little bored now and then. I continue to rest when I am tired, but it seems to be less and less each week. I went to visit Gale Bilgen's class yesterday ( they are the second graders who prayed the rosary for me constantly when I was in the hospital) and it was so nice to see them and answer any questions they had about my treatment. I thanked them all for all their prayers and told them how blessed I was to have so many people praying for me. Tomorrow will be a very special Thanksgiving for our family. When we sit down to pray there will probably be tears shed as we recall all we are thankful for. My list is so long.... First my sister, Libby, who was my donor, I owe you my life; My wonderful husband without whom I could not have done this; My children and their spouses, who kept a brave face for me through it all, even though I know they were as frightened as I; My grandchildren who's faces brought me enormous pleasure even when I could only dream about them; All of you out there who kept me up on my bad days and said prayers for me constantly; All of my closest friends, who like my children, put on a brave face but felt like they were crumbling inside when they saw me for the first time; Kyle's family and my family, who were there whenever we needed them, they too kept a brave face for me, but were frightened beyond words; the 2nd graders from St. Mary's who prayed the rosary for me, even coming to my deck in June and praying for me; all the people who brought food and gave Kyle a break in the kitchen; and most of all, the dear Lord who made it posible for me to be here this Thanksgiving. So this Thanksgiving when you all sit down with your family count the many blessings in your life. Too many times we take a lot of them for granted, I know I did. I don't think I will ever view the world from that perspective again. HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Platelets continue to rise

2006-11-15T17:10:00.000-05:00

I went into the local hematologist office today for a blood test and my platelets continue to rise quickly. I am so happy and so was my nurse at Cleveland clinic when I spoke with her this afternoon. Seems things are progressing on the right track. Thank you everyone for your continued thoughts and prayers!

Good news

2006-11-09T14:57:00.000-05:00

Today I went to my local hematologist here in Sandusky for a blood draw and my platelets have doubled since last week! They faxed it to my doctor in Cleveland and he called this afternoon and said he is extemely pleased with the lab results. The platelets are higher than they have ever been since the bone marrow transplant. YES!!!! I just have to keep getting stronger so I can start thinking about going back to work. I miss all my friends there. But, I am taking it one day at a time and I thank God every day for all the blessings in my life and all of you are included in that category. Thank you all. We've come a long way together.

100th Day

2006-11-03T08:32:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my 100th day and I had my last weekly appointment at the Clinic. My counts are stable, but still low and my doctor says I don't have to come back for 1 month! I am too excited! And I don't have to get that 4 hour infusion anymore, so next month it will be just a doctor appointment and they will take my port out on that day also. YEAH! I am starting to feel stronger and better. I drove for the first time this week and it felt good. I had a wonderful 100th day, but of course that infusion always knocks me out so I took a nap when I got home. But, Hey I MADE IT! 100 days ! It is what they keep telling you is the goal to make it to and I did. YES I DID!

Long day at the clinic

2006-10-29T10:43:00.000-05:00

My appointment on Friday ended up lasting longer than usual because I had to get 2 pints of blood. It seems my hemoglobin has been dropping a little each week and this week it was too low, so they decided to give me blood and that takes a few hours. We found out in the morning, so I told Kyle to go visit Erika, Kade and Liv since I was probably going to be ther until 6 pm. The blood cannot be administered at the same time as my 4 hour infusion of immunoglobins, so it was going to be a long day and there was no sense in him sitting there all day, besides maybe he could give Erika a little break. So he went to their house and had fun with the kids. My son, Kyle picked me up at the clinic after he got off work and we had dinner with them. Needless to say, I was exhausted and slept most of the way home. My nurse told me not to worry about having to receive blood, that this is common to see levels fall around the 100th day post bone marrow translant and my 100th day is next Thursday and my platelets are remaining stable so I did not have to get platelets. I just wish they would start rising. Next week I go back on Thursday (100th day) and after that I will only have to go back once a month unless there is a problem. They are going to take my port out sometime in November, but it is not scheduled yet. These are all good signs and I made it through the dangerous first 100 days. YIPPEE!! The next benchmark is 6 months post transplant without any infections. Each day is just a blessing from God and I thank him every morning that I am still here (with help from all of you)!

Good Week

2006-10-24T10:12:00.000-04:00

Last week was a good week for me. It seemed I had more energy than I've had since the bone marrow transplant and I even got out of the house a few days. I thought maybe that meant my counts were finally going up. But at my appointment on Friday on the clinic my doctor told me they were all about the same. The good news was that I did not have to get platelets, just my 4 hour infusion of immunoglobins. He said at 3 months post transplant ( which is where I am) they expect the counts to drop and mine were stable, so he said I don't have to see him for 2 weeks! I still have to go on friday for my infusion, but no doctor appointment, so that is a step in the right direction. We went to see Erika a nd the kids after my appointment and when Kyle got home we went to dinner at the Winking Lizard. We had a really good time and it felt so good to have dinner out. The rest of the weekend was focused on the World Series (go Tigers). I just want to thank all of you again for your continued thoughts, prayers , and support. I saw many people when I was out last week who continue to support us and it is very humbling and very much appreciated. I know I could not have made it this far in this difficult journey without you.

Feeling better

2006-10-16T09:02:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't written for a while.... I had along week for some reason last week. I was very tired and slept a lot. Our visit to the clinic went well on Friday, my platelets are still in the low range and coming up slowly. But I did not need to get any platelets. Some of my classmates from high school were getting together at the Cameo Friday night and I had planned on going, but I was so exhausted that Kyle let me sleep.... so sorry I missed all of you. We went to the grocery store on Saturday and that also wore me out, but it seemed like after a nap I did feel a lot better and not so tired as I had all week. We had a visist from Jess's kids on Saturday and it was good to see them. On Sunday they went out to Harvest Happenings with the Schwerer's and had a good time. This week I don't have to go back to the clinic until Friday, so that is a step in the right direction. Hopefully I will keep feeling this good or better all week this week. Talk to you soon.

Golf Outing Benefit

2006-10-08T10:54:00.000-04:00

Yesterday Roeder Harley Davidson sponsored it's annual Biker Memorial Fund golf scramble and made us the recipients of the benefit. Many of the people Kyle worked with at Delphi are members of the group and they donated the money to us. We are so appreciative to these good people. Also, many of our friends from the Elks ran a raffle there with many prizes donated by friends and businesses. We cannot thank everyone enough. Kyle golfed in it with my brothers Craig, Doug , and Tony and he had a nice day. It felt good for him to get out of his "caregiver" role and have some fun. And then last night his Detroit Tigers won their playoff series against the Yankees, so he had a great day. Today we make the trip to Toledo for granddaughter Riley's birthday. I looking forward to seeing the grandkids and of course my kids.

Tearful Thursday

2006-10-06T16:59:00.000-04:00

Thursday I had a very emotional day. I don't know why, but I cried more that day than I have in a long time. My nurse today told me it is probably from the Prednisone and the fact that I want to get up and do much more than I am capable of doing at this point. So I am frustrated. I just want to make it through this recovery time with as few problems as possible. Last night I had a very scary nose bleed, which took some time to stop and that made me a little anxious also. Today we went to the clinic and my platelets went down a little so I had to get platelets today and also my 4 hour weekly infusion of immunoglobins. All my other counts were good and my nurse says they expect the platelets to start rising any day. So I am counting my blessings and enjoying another crisp fall day.

Clinic results

2006-10-04T11:12:00.000-04:00

Yesterdays trip to the clinic was a good one. My platelets stayed the same, so the doctor seems to think we should see them start to rise now that he took me off the IV that can cause low platelets. All of my other counts were excellent! I was so excited that I did not have to get anything, I could not believe it. The ride home was beautiful, with all the leaves starting to change colors and it was a beautiful afternoon. We went to Gram and Ralph's for supper and Jillian had dinner there with us (Brit is out of town) and it was nice to see her and congratulate her on her pregnancy. Of course, we had to watch the playoff game when we got home. Kyle's beloved Detroit Tigers took one on the chin. So, today is a day to lounge around the house. The weather is supposed to be bad this afternoon....so a nap may be good today. I will update again after our clinic visit on Friday.

Clinic results

2006-09-30T07:31:00.000-04:00

In reading through my entries I realized I never did tell you that my biopsy for GVH of the skin came back positive, but that is not all bad according to my doctor, because they want you to have a little GVH and of all the ones to have the skin is best case scenario because they can control it with prednisone. So they incresed my dose of prednisone and the rash went away. I just have to tolerate haveing "chipmunk cheeks" for a while. Yesterday I spent the day at the outpatient clinic for my weekly appointment and Kyle and Marcie went to visit Erika, Kade and Liv. My platelets did drop from last week, but were not in the critical range, and my doctor wants me to come back on Tuesday for more labs to see if they go up now that he took me off the IV I have to give myself every night(the Iv drug lowers platelet count). So we will have to make 2 trips next week, but that is ok. We went back to Kyle and Erika's after the appointment and had dinner with them. It was so nice to see all of them! Again, I am deeply appreciative of all the cards, letters, prayers, and support from all of you!

Thank you

2006-09-26T21:49:00.000-04:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone for helping me reach this milestone in my recovery.. being home for good. It feels so wonderful!!!!!!!!! We went back up to Hope Lodge this morning and finished checking out, since we left in such a rush on Friday. We met Libby for lunch on another beautiful fall day and enjoyed the fall drive. I'm feeling good, just a little weak. Thank you also to everyone who fed us over the last few days , homeade food is so delicious! Plus it has given Kyle a little break. You have no idea how much. Hopefully I will get my "legs" back soon. Tomorrow Kyle and I are going to try to walk the whole block. It was so good to see people who stopped over and just so good just to be here on this earth with so many people who are really important to me. Love you all!

SURPRISE

2006-09-22T22:28:00.000-04:00

My day of appointments went so well all of my blood counts are going up and my platelets are rising daily.......so the doctor says I only have to come back once a week on Fridays....so WE ARE HOME FOR GOOD!!!!! We couldn't believe it! We packed as much as we could quickly so we could get out of Cleveland before rush hour and we got home in time to pick Marcie up from work and surprise her. She is happy she is home too. Actually Doug picked her up and brought pizza for supper. Cameo pizza tasted so good. We have to back and check out of Hope Lodge next week because they won't let you check out at night .... so we still have a few things to pick up and check out between 10 am and noon. I know all of you are thrilled for us too. Thank you for all of you continued support... and stop over and see me!

Beautiful day

2006-09-21T18:04:00.000-04:00

Kyle and I really enjoyed the beautiful fall day today. We went to see the Garfield Memorial in the morning, since I had a free day today. The tour was very interesting and I even made it up all the steps to the top, where we walked out on a balcony with a great view of the lake and the Cleveland skyline and the cemetary grounds surrounding the memorial. Then we took a walk through "Little Italy" and enjoyed all the smells coming from the bakeries and restaurants and brought dessert back to the Lodge. I had cannoli and Kyle got a cream puff. It felt good to be almost "normal" for a day. Son, Kyle came and visited last evening. We were going to go to their house, but Kade is sick and I have to avoid that......so Kyle came here. We miss seeing Erika, Kade and Liv, but maybe next week we can see them before we go home, if all is well. Tomorrow is my long day at the clinic....I have a 4 hour infusion of immunoglobins, and a Dr appt at 3 pm. We will be leaving after that for a weekend home. I will update you on my appointment when we get home.

Good News

2006-09-19T17:04:00.000-04:00

I received very good news today at the clinic. Libby's platelets that I received on Friday made my platelet count double and I did not have to get any blood, platelets, or electrolytes today, so it was a short visit! I did see one of my Doctors today and he told me that the CMV virus is now officially gone and that is also wonderful news. They still don't have the results of the skin biopsy back, so I will have to wait until my next appointment on Friday to find out about that. To Mary Beth, my heart goes out to you and your family at this difficult time. However, you have the right attitude. She has been ready for a long time, and she will be at peace. Please keep us updated. And to Cindy W, the address here is 11432 Mayfield Rd. Cleveland, OH 44106. Thank you also for keeping Marcie busy, she really enjoys her nights out with you! Thank you every one for all the times you have lifted me up and helped get my family and I through this.... I will never forget all of you! I know I have a long road to complete recovery, but I will make it with your continued support!

Back at the Lodge

2006-09-19T06:59:00.000-04:00

We arrived back here yesyerday evening. Had a really really great weekend home, and even got to go to my brother, Craig's surprise 50 th birthday party on Saturday night. Made it very hard to come back. Hopefully we will be home for good by Oct 1. Then we will just drive up for weekly appt. Today I have a full day at the outpatient clinic and a Dr appt. We will find out the results of the skin biopsy also, so I will update later. Thanks for all the continued support!

Feels good to be home

2006-09-16T05:07:00.000-04:00

It feels good to be home for the the weekend. We got here around 3:30 yesterday and picked Marcie up and unloaded the car..... by then we were all exhausted ! My visit to the clinic took longer than expected because my Potassium was low and I had to get a 3 hour infusion of potassium and now I have to take another pill every day! I did get my sisters platelets yesterday and it seems I'm feeling stronger today! I just can't sleep! My Dr increased my steroid to help make the rash go away and that is one of the side effects of steroid ...Insomnia! The rash is starting to go away though. And I am feeling good. I'm sure being home has something to do with that. Hopefully we only have to stay at Hope Lodge for 2 more weeks and then we will just drive up on the days of my appointments. Marcie will be happy. They are having Disney day today at Kroger, so look for Minnie! Gale, I will call you today to put in my request, but only if you have time. You are a busy woman!

Extra appointments

2006-09-14T09:29:00.001-04:00

Well, it seems I have developed a minor graft vs host disease of the skin. So today I have some extra appointments with the dermatologist here. If I have to have anything this is the best one to get. I have a itchy rash on my chest, back, and shoulders. They will biopsy it today and then medicate me accordingly. The doctor has decreased many of my GVH meds and that is why it is showing up, but that is what he wanted to see if any GVH would show up. So we will see what happens today. I will be getting Libby's platelets tomorrow and Then we will be heading home for the weekend. I'm still feeling good and can't wait to go home again.

Extra appointments

2006-09-14T09:29:00.000-04:00

Platelets rising

2006-09-11T19:50:00.000-04:00

I got good news today at the clinic. I went for my appointment and found that my platlets went up instead of down for the first time. I still had to get platelets, but that is a good sign that they are going in the right direction. I will get Libby's platelets later on in the week. Today was my long day there and I was there from 8 am to 4pm. Had another great weekend home. Marcie was happy we were there. She can't wait until we stay for good. Got to visit with people who stopped over and Daleen, I am sorry we missed your call, maybe we can see you next weekend. We will be going home every weekend, God willing. Seems things are going in the right direction. Thank you everyone for continued thoughts and prayers.

Home again

2006-09-08T23:39:00.000-04:00

We arrived home after my Dr appt this afternoon. It feels so good to be home again. Ihad to receive blood today and that is probably why I felt like laying around a lot yesterday. Everything seems to be going good except my platelets. Seems like they are behind a little, but the Dr says they are working on that. I have a lot of appointments next week, so I'm just going to enjoy my weekend home. Libby is going to give me some of her platelets next week, they seem to think that may jump start them. I am doing good ....look forward to seeing anyone who stops by!

Pictures to bring a smile!

2006-09-08T21:28:00.000-04:00

Me and My Gang!!!!!!!!!!
Alli and Papa playin'
Happy Birthday MOM!!!!!
Alexa rubbin Nana's feet!

2006-09-06T17:17:00.000-04:00

Jesus take the wheel

Back by popular demand! To everyone that heard but didn't see. This is Cindy's daughter Jessie's youngest daughter Alli singing like a SUPER STAR!

MOVIE STARZ!!!!

2006-09-06T17:06:00.000-04:00

I thought that you would enjoy these also!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

2006-09-06T16:55:00.000-04:00

Mom hope you had a wonderful birthday we all
enjoyed your company! We Love you!

Cindy Lou is 51

2006-09-05T21:01:00.000-04:00

Thanks for all the birthday messages, my friend Barbie K passed that rumor that I was 52, but she is just getting me back for the year I put it on TV that she was 50! and she wasn't! That's Ok the age doesn't matter, it's just being here that feels so good. My all day outpatient trip was not too bad, had a great nurse. And the doctor took me off some of my meds, so that was great too. Tonight, my sister, Libby and her husband Joe brought Kyle and I dinner from Olive Garden and they ate with us here at the Lodge. It was WONDERFUL! I'm going to start gaining a lot of weight if I keep eating like this! Olive Garden is one of my favorites! Got to see all my brothers and sister over the weekend and also all my children and grandchildren and some friends ...... maybe that is what is helping me make this recovery more quickly. The swelling in my feet is finally stating to resolve and I even got tennis shoes on today. TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY

Wonderful weekend

2006-09-04T21:16:00.000-04:00

We arrived back at the Hope Lodge this evening, after a wonderful weekend at home. I feel so much better after being home. I have a full day of treatments tomorrow at the outpatient clinic. We stopped and had dinner with the Schwerer's before we came back and it was delicious. we plan on going home again next weekend. Thank you everyone for your continued support.

Good to be home

2006-09-02T18:51:00.000-04:00

It feels so good to be home. Today was a really good day. And it seems like fall made an apppearance for my first nights home......... falll has always been my favorite season. Watched college football with Kyle, lit my candles, and savored every moment. The kids and grandkids are coming tomorrow and I am excited.......... miss them so much! Barbie K brought dinner tonight and it was delicious..........Thanks Barb , Kyle loved it too. He got to take a break from cooking tonight. Just wanted to let everyone know things are good and not to worry if I miss a day posting.... 2 or 3 then you can, but hopefully that is not going to happen again. The bus is back on the right path.

HOME

2006-09-01T00:26:00.000-04:00

We made it to Sandusky today. Oh, when I walked in the door, I could smell autumn. Barb and Bill had decorated for fall and the candles smelled soooooo good. I lost it when I saw how beautiful it was. My mom and Kyle's mom brought us food, and my mom stayed while Kyle ran to the store for a few items to hold us through the weekend. We told the Hope Lodge we would not be back till Monday, since my doctor gave me clearance and they were real nice about it. I need a few days in my home......it's the best therapy for me. I'm getting stronger every day (even though that's not too strong) I have a hard time with the steps, but baby steps will get me there. Kyle is doing such a good job being my caregiver, but I know he is exhausted. I took a nap when I got home so I could be awake when Marcie got home at 11 pm....so that is why this is so late . She is glad to have me home although she doesn't want me to go back....I have to for a little while yet and the Hope Lodge makes things comfy for us.

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

2006-08-30T05:54:00.000-04:00

We are all settled in here, well Kyle has settled us. He is taking such good care of me. It was a fiasco trying to get out of the hospital yesterday. After I wrote, we found out I had to have 2 units of blood before I left which takes about 5 hours and of course of all days I get the nurse who is just taking her time. We arrived here around 5:30, had a little snack and Doug, Mom, Barb D and Mary Ann Kidwell came to visit. It was so nice to see them......I know Kyle had beeen telling people not to come earlier when I was having so many problems, so I had only seen a few people recently..........so the hugs felt good and the conversation and gifts were great..... and yes, I did have some of that wedding cake ice cream, Doug! It was absolutely wonderful. I feel a bit stronger this morning and I'm sure each day will get better, I don't want to go back to that place.

DISCHARGE!!!!

2006-08-29T07:56:00.000-04:00

I didn't want to tell everyone they were planning on discharge today until I knew it was actually going to happen.... AND IT IS! Kyle and I will be going to Hope Lodge for tonight and tomorrow and then HOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOR A FEW DAYS. Of course I have to keep coming back to the Lodge, but I will get a few nights here and there in my own bed. And I will enjoy every second. Signing off until we get to the lodge.

Pictures for you Mom!!

2006-08-28T22:43:00.000-04:00

We enjoyed our visit with you mom. It was nice to see your smile back and the joy in your eyes!!
I love my NANA!!!!!!!
Look at that smile!!!!!!

Footprints in the sand

2006-08-27T17:23:00.000-04:00

Thank you to all of you whose footprints I see carrying me through the days I could not walk. You lifted me whaen I could not lift myself and for that I am eternally grateful. I'm back with more determination than before that YES, I CAN. Today I actually was hungry and asked Kyle to get me some take out food...........I thought he was going to faint! Since they are weaning me off the steroids, I am having a little trouble trying to get my pills down, but we are working on that. Today, I actually felt good. Zac was in town overnight....he and his friends went to Tigers game last night , so he stopped last night and then again today and brought me some yummy food I can have tomorrow. I am so blessed to have such a large and loving family. Even though the Roth and Kromer family is large and we STICK together through thick and thin......our friends have become just as important part of our large family and without all of you we could not have made it through. Thanks to all of you who have helped Kyle and Marcie through this... there are just so many people to thank. Thank you ,all of you, WE ARE FAMILY!! Can't wait until I am sitting on my porch enjoying autumn with all of you!

Number 7

2006-08-26T21:06:00.000-04:00

Number 7
Originally uploaded by kyleroth.

Met our new granddaughter Liv

2006-08-26T18:46:00.000-04:00

Today I met our newest and smallest granddaughter yet Liv Ellen. I shook with joy when they placed her in my arms. I HELD HER FOR AT LEAST 2 HOURS!!! She is just beautiful. We had a very nice visit. I also got some good news from the doctor this morning, They are going to treat this CMV virus with something different so I may only have to stay one week instead of 2. I am not going to get my hopes up though.......seems every time I do something else comes up, I will keep you posted. I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed. I know I willl feel better when I'm there. I don't know if I told you, but I've had some major blood sugar issues. They started giving me pills in the morning because the steroid they put me on made my blood sugar just a little high........well the pill works all day and since I'm not eating much it makes my blood sugar crash in the evening. Last night the nurse woke me up at 3 am and made me eat a piece of cake with chocolate frosting from their potluck they had because my blood sugar was 30. That was really wierd, but the cake was great and it brought it right up. So today Libby called and asked if there was anything I wanted and I told her "a box of chocolates" for my crash and burn times. Well she brought me the best chocolates I have ever tasted from Malley's. So I am set for tonight if I need it, but I feel like a beached whale with all the sugar I've had today. Thanks everyone for your continued prayers and to Jude and Shelly......I have just learned of all of the events that have happened to you. I AM THINKING OF YOU. lOVE YOU GUYS WITH ALL MY HEART!

another bad news day

2006-08-25T19:45:00.000-04:00

Well guys, got another shot in the gut around suppertime. PA Vanessa came in to tell me my blood tested positive for CMV which is a virus that most of us carry around with us and it doesn'tbother us unless we are immune compromised. I guess they ran the test earlier and it came back equivocal so they ran it again and got results tonight. It means I have to stay 2 more weeks, which I think is the hardest part for me because I just want to go home. I have to stay because they have to watch my electrolyte levels very closely while they treat it. I will probably need IV Potassium, etc daily until they get the med right. So please say some prayers that will carry me through these next 2 weeks with the determination to stay the course. I know I have to it is just hard to think of it in those terms. One day at a time............I CAN DO THIS

Cindy (Bella) is back again!

2006-08-24T13:31:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone! I'm Back, hopefully for good this time. Had some scary days.....when you wake up in the middle of the night and feel like you are drowning, it can cause some real panic and a lot of activity in the middle of the night. I could hear the water gurgling around my heart. Steve, it helps to know you had to be on oxygen also. I was beginning to think I was the only person these things happen to. I've watched the patients that had their BMT after me, come and go. Of course, the doctor tells me that all of my symptoms are caused by side effects of the medications given to me for graft vs host, which they now know that I've never had. THANKS! So now they have taken me off all of that medication and I can actually carry on a normal conversation again. Of course, all those days in bed have taken their toll on my legs, so Kyle and I have been doing our short walks today. My new granddaughter, Liv is going home with Mama today. Oh, how I wish I could join them for a celebritory beer later! Maybe Monday the doctor tells me!

A little better day

2006-08-23T19:57:00.000-04:00

It didn't start out to good when I arrived at 8:30 am. Cindy was hooked up to oxygen. She woke up in the middle of the night finding it hard to breath. Then later on they did some breayhing treatments which seemed to help. Then they took her down for more x-rays(no results yet). The Doctor said she has fluid around her heart. Gave her more lasics. They said most of her problems now are from side effects from one of the drugs that she was on. Cindy is taking her meds orally with no problem. The Doctor said he is shooting for monday for discharge if nothing else causes any problems. It's hard to try to keep her from getting to anxious when she hears that or from being to low when they tell her not today.

PS: Keep the prayers coming

KYLE

Feeling alright

2006-08-21T11:11:00.000-04:00

WELL, guys, I guess I need to kick myself in the butt here and get going hone. I can't stand all these pokes and prods anymore.I am feeling 199%better ,however, than I did yesterday.The Dr said I had a good MRI (better than his ,whatever that means) And they think that some of my hullucinations may have been coming from the cyclosporinro. So, now they are watching then.So it looks like this messes discharge up a little bit. But I have to take it 1 day at a time. YES I CAN!

A few down day's

2006-08-20T19:00:00.000-04:00

Cindy had a few lousy day's this weekend.Last night at midnight they took her for a chest x-ray because she had shortness of breath. She had fluid buildup but not in her lungs. And then on sunday afternoon they took her down for an MRI because her speech was real faint and hard to understand what she was saying. They think it is a side effect from one of her meds so they stopped that med to see if that is whats causing it. It will show up on the scan. We didn't get the results yet. She is kind of getting down because she was set on getting out on monday. She got emotional at times. I think she is having a tough time missing big events like Zac and Lauren's wedding and with the birth of Liv coming up. It's got to be especially tough for someone so family oriented.

PS: Keep the prayers coming.

KYLE

Very Good Day

2006-08-16T19:09:00.000-04:00

Today was a very good day! I had very little nausea and no vomiting. The Dr nows says that he thinks the esophagus has a little GVH, but the biopsies are not back yet that they took during the EGD. So we will just have to wait and see. He says it is really better to have a little GVH which Steve also said in one of his blogs. It shows the graft is doing what it is supposed to do. The Dr is very happy with my counts. He says I am definitely engrafted with libby's bone marrow cells. My hemoglobin continues to climb and I have needed no red blood cell tranfusions. My platelets are still low, but he says that the platelts are the last cells to catch on and grow. You can tell they are low, my body is covered in bruises. I fell on one of those nights I was having hallucinations and my butt is one big bruise! Steve, at least Mickey Mouse didn't lock me out of my bathroom, but I was seeeing all kinds of strange things. I swore there was a weird cat in my room and my nurse kept reassuring me they would not have cats up there. My white count is up to normal limits and I am not what they call neutropenic any more. that means I am not as susceptible to infection as I was. So, now they are preparing me for discharge. I started taking some pills today. It went well. More tomorrow. The Dr said the steroids are making my blood sugar go up and I may need to be on insulin until I am weaned of the steroids. It depends on what reading it is tomorrow. It was 170 fasting today. So, Erika, I may be joining you! Although, you will probably be done with that soon. As soon as Liv gets here, which may be within the week! Exciting!!!!!!!!! Kyle trimmed KD and Erika's trees today and then had lunch that Erika made for him. then he came up to see me. We had dinner together. And we are watching the Tigers game. So it has been a very good day Keeps me saying YES I CAN!

Glorious news and Big Thank you Steve and Ginny

2006-08-15T13:15:00.000-04:00

First of all I must give a big thankyou to Steve Wicker and his mom, Ginny. I had not read any of my comments for a few days. I finally read them this morning. WOW! Steve your words make me feel so much better, knowing I'm Not alone in this, knowing I can be ok after all the horrible things are over. I have new strentgh and new determination due to you. Thank you from the depths of my soul. Ginny, thanks for your wisdom on the subject and sharing your private stories.Your support means so much and I can't imagine how hard it must have been on you to watch your young son go through what usually "old" people do. I also thank you from the depths of my soul . And now on to the news of the day. The Dr was in and said no GVD showed in the esophagus. He started me on steroids, and said I will feel better in no time. they are starting to wean me off the IV's and start me on pills again, but they are going to do it slower this time. Maybe I will get to go home on Monday! We will see. I think I can, I think I can ,I think I can, YES I CAN, YES I CAN,YES I CAN!!!

I' m baaaaack!!

2006-08-14T22:28:00.000-04:00

HI EVERYONE, I'M BACK! AS YOU KNOW I'VE HAD A ROUGH FEW DAYS, BUT IFEEL BETTER NOW. HAD A VERY LONG DAY TODAY. AT 8 AM WHEN TRANSPORT SHOWS UP AT MY DOOR TO TAKE ME DOWN FOR EGD. I KNEW I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET 2 MORE BAGS OF PLATELETS BEFORE,SO I CALLED THE NURSE. SHE TOLD TRANSPOTER IT WOULD BE LATER AND HE LEFT NOT VERY HAPPY. SO THEN WE HAD TO WAIT FOR THE LONG HOURS UNTILL THR PLATELETS CAME.FINALLY AT 2:39 THEY TOOK ME. KYLE WAITED IN THE WAITING ROOM. bY 5:30 I WAS BACK IN MY ROOM.I WAS PRETTY SLEEPY MOST OF THE NIGHT, BUT I FEEL GOOD. I'M TIRED SO I BETTER GO TO SLEEP.

Made some progress(small steps)

2006-08-13T21:27:00.000-04:00

Cindy had some company today and responded pretty good to it. Mom Kromer and (Jerry's Kids) Craig, Doug and Tony and also Cindi. Cindy walked out of the room for the first time in a few day. We walked down to the patient lounge. Doctor Dean says she should try to walk little during the days. After that we went back to her room and she did a good job for not walking for a while. After that the boy's and Cindi kidnapped me and went to the winking lizard for wings and of course a few beverages. Tonight Cindy got three units of platlets and she will get two more tomorrow to get her counts up so they can do the scope to see if she does have host vs. graft. If she does they will give her steroids right away to combat the nausea. They say it will work very quickly.

PS: Keep the prayers coming.

KYLE

A little progress today

2006-08-12T19:55:00.000-04:00

Cindy made a little progress today. She was a little more alert today and no nausea today. She did have a headache and they took her downstairs to do a scan to see if maybe she had a sinus infection. They also did a chest x-ray while she was there. No results yet from either one(probably monday). She still isn't eating any solid food , just a little liquids. Hopefully her counts come up enough to do the scope which they canceled on friday to chech graft vs. host. If it comes back positive then they will give her steroids to combat that. It's really weird how things can change so fast. Keep the prayers and good thoughts coming.

PS: Cindi W., Im sorry I spelled your name wrong I'm used Y instead of I. I noticed after I finished the blog.

KYLE

another not so good day

2006-08-12T05:26:00.000-04:00

Friday was not a real good day. They sent Cindy down to have a scope done to see if she she has host vs. graft after 3 hrs later the doctor said that they couldn't do it then because her platelets were too low. That was a long three hours. So they are going to try to get the levels back up so that they can do the procedure on monday. Cindy was in no pain all day but she wasn't really with it. I knew we were gonna have some rough days. But it really tests your emotions. Thank you Steve for your support. Also Beth,Gale,and also Cindy W for helping with Marcie . And I can't forget Kyle , Erika and Kade (he is really great therapy)for everything they did for us while we are on our journey.

PS: And thanks again Cindy W. for that coconut cake it was great just like all the desserts you make.

KYLE

Back to the clinic

2006-08-10T20:02:00.000-04:00

Cindy went for some tests today at the Taussig Center. We were there most of the day and late in the afternoon she started to run a fever(101) so they re-admitted her. She wasn't very happy, but this is what is best for her and I think she now realizes that. They did a blood culture and we will get the results tomorrow. It could be graft vs. host whhich is fairly common. And they may have to give her some steroids.

Kyle

Hope Lodge

2006-08-10T11:49:00.000-04:00

[KD posting]

Mom is at the Hope Lodge now and will be going to the Clinic for appointments every few days. She has been pretty nauseous and had to get an IV yesterday because she was dehydrated. They have computers there, but they are down today. She wanted me to post to let you all know she is doing ok. She will be back on soon.

Discharge day

2006-08-08T17:20:00.000-04:00

Overwhelming is the only word I can descibe today. First of all they made me stay another day. Then they had to switch all my IV meds over to pills and I am having trouble keeping them down. The Lodge is very nice, like an old victorian Hotel, and i'm sure once I feel better I will enjoy it. Sorry, I havent been in tough in a couple days, nausea has ruled myworld. Like Steve said, take it one day at a time, and I am. so sorry this is short. Tomorrrow will be better!

Day + 12

2006-08-06T19:45:00.000-04:00

Today has been a day of preparations for discharge. I am excited yet scared at the same time. All of the IV medications have been changed to oral and the pills make make me sick. So we are working on that. I heard that I missed a marvelous wedding reception last night, but I was there in spirit. Congratulations Jillian and Britt!! I could hear how much fun was being had by all when Kyle called me during the traditional 500 mile dance! And I have aspecial thank you to Jill and Britt for the donations to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society in my name. That means so much to me. Maybe someday there will be a cure for everyone with this awful disease. I have heard so many stories from people's families while here and it is heartwrenching. I feel so fortunate to have so much support from friends, family, the community, people I did not even know before. Thank you all! Kyle and I will keep you all informed on my progrss these next weeks as I continue the journey. We are praying for a smooth road. Thanks everyone, see you down the road!

Day + 10

2006-08-05T11:18:00.000-04:00

JUBILATION!!!!!! The magic school bus has reached it's destination and the pink boxing gloves delivered the KO. Libby's bone marrow has engrafted!!!!!!!! My white cell count skyrocketed to 1130. The Dr expects it to continue to climb like that. He is amazed that I didn't do the yo-yo thing where the wbc's go up one day and down the next. He told me this is early and my sister must have been the best match I could have found. OH, I thank the Lord for Libby every night and day. I also thank him for all of you who have taken this journey with me and have fought off those leukemia cells with your prayers and just plain determination that you need me here. Many times when I felt like I was slipping, you boosted me with your words and spirit. There is no way I could have done this without all of you! I know I am not out of the woods yet, but with my determination and your prayers , we are on our way to ful recovery. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, I'm being discharged to the Hope Lodge on Monday! Alleluia!

Day # 9

2006-08-04T11:50:00.000-04:00

I slept until 11:00 this morning ! Itook a sleeping pill last night and only woke up for vitals and blood draws. Maybe I should request those more often.Ha ha. My counts are rising . My wbc's are 470 and that is a good sign. However, I ran a temp of 38.6 during the night so now they are closely monitoring them. Just have to take this magic school bus ride one day at a time. And I would like to extend a special thanks to Steve Wicker. He is 3+ years out of bone marrow transplant.He wrote many comforting words to me and gave me details I didn't know.He is definitely a support person I can go to if I have questions. That is comforting to have someone to talk with and know "hey, is this normal.........did this ever happen to you?" I definitely have been touched by many, many people in so many diffeent ways. As the song says,"I'm only one, but not alone,my finest day is yet unknown!"YES I CAN

Day +8

2006-08-02T19:21:00.000-04:00

This will be short. I ca barely keep my eyes open. The morphine is diung me in! The Dr says I'm right on track. I SLEPT MODT OF THE DAY TODAY(sorry) I did take a spill, trying to be independent and I got dizzy. My counts are low and that is good.

Day +7

2006-08-01T20:40:00.000-04:00

Day number 7 was another not so good day for Cindy. Her WBC went down from 120 to 110 which is normal. The nurse said the count will go down to about 2o or 30 before they start rising. Cindy may have a few more days like this. Hopefully they drop quickly so the new cells start multiplying. Cindy had a friend from school come up to visit (Julie Etowski) Kaman. That was a surprise to see her. We haven't seen her in awhile. Keep the prayers and thoughts coming.

Kyle

Day 6

2006-07-31T20:03:00.000-04:00

It wasn't a very good day today compared to yesterday. She is still on that rollercoaster ride. Her white count is down to 120 which the doctor said is normal. She has been experiencing vomitting on and off all day. Also her throat is sore and she not been able to even take pills, so all of her meds are going through her port,which right now has six different bags hooked up. I was there from about 1 til 7 . But she tried to stay awake because I was there. so I told her I would leave to let her get her rest. She said she has to take the good with the bad. Keep the prayers and thoughts coming.

Kyle

Day +5

2006-07-30T18:16:00.000-04:00

What a glorious day! I woke feeling great! Was even able to eat my breakfast for the first time in a week. Then all my brothers, Craig, Doug, and Tony, along with sis-in-law Cindi and my Mom came up for a visit this morning. It was absolutely wonderful. They left around lunchtime and went to visit Libby. She is doing a little better, she is able to eat now and the headaches are lessening. She is a trooper. This afternoon Kyle and I watched the Indians game, since he can't see the Tigers games. Son, Kyle came at dinner time to pick his dad up and brought me a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. That will be my bedtime snack tonight! Can't wait! I must again thank all of you who have kept myself and my family in your thoughts and prayers. You give me strength with your phone calls, visits, comments on my blog, and just your support is overwhelming to Kyle and I. You give me the ability to go on when the days are bad and to keep my optimism for a strong recovery. And the ability to keep saying YES I CAN, YES I CAN, YES I CAN!

Day + 4

2006-07-29T22:24:00.000-04:00

Today did not start out well with nausea and vomitting beginning at 7 am. So the nurse medicated me and I slept a couple of hours. By that time Kyle was here and I was feeling better. We took a walk and The nurse gave me some new medicine to fight the nausea around the clock. So the rest of the day went pretty well. I talked with Libby and she was feeling a little better, but still having headaches and nausea. Hope tomorrow is better for her. Tonight Kyle and Erika visited. I think I feel the best I've felt tonight. We will see what the morning brings, but I know it will be better than today.

Day + 3

2006-07-28T08:48:00.000-04:00

Words can't express the emotion held in the video Jess made for me. I was having a yucky day yesterday and watching that video made my resolve even greater. I had a lot of nausea yesterday and my white count had skyrocketed, but the Dr said sometimes that happens and then it will drop the next day, which is what happened. Dr says I'm right on track , where I need to be. The nausea is a little better today. Son, Kyle stopped on his lunch yesterday and Joe(Libby's husband) stopped in. I couldn't figure out why he was here and then he told me Libby had to come back in because of terrible headaches and they found out she needed IV fluid and her Potassium was low. My Dad and Marge also stopped by for a visit. I slept most of the day because of the meds they gave me for the nausea. Today, I feel as if I can do the treadmill, which is what the doctor wants me to do. As the song goes 'the answer is all up to me" I will be replaying that song in my head for a long time. Thank you Jess, from the bottom of my heart, I love you so much! The magic bus ride continues..............YES I CAN, YES I CAN, YES I CAN!

Moms Fight For Life

2006-07-27T10:11:00.000-04:00

Jessie's video for mom...

Day +1

2006-07-26T18:52:00.000-04:00

Today is day + 1 of BMT. Everything seems to be going as it should. My counts are dropping and that what they should do until the new bone marrow engrafts, which can take 7 days. The nurse tells me I am going to feel "yucky " while they are low, and I definitely felt that today, but I got 2 units of blood so that should make me feel better. Libby is taking it easy at home, I talked with her today, and she said she is tired and letting Joe take care of her. What a blessing she is, I just don't know what I would have done without her. Well, I am going to try to rest, tomorrow is another day to put on my boxing gloves. YES I CAN!

Happy Rebirth Day

2006-07-25T14:16:00.000-04:00

O, praise the Lord for he is good! The bone marrow transplant is complete and I feel great! They told me I would sleep through it and I said NO, I want to be awake! The marrow ran in in about 10 minutes and that was it. Kyle, Jessie , and Joe were in my room during the infusion. Libby is still down in recovery, but she will get come up as soon as she is released. I can't wait to see her and give her a big thank you hug! Words cannot express my gratitude to her for the ultimate gift of my chance at life. I am riding high on the magic school bus ,singing YES I CAN and I know Libby is singing it too. KD stopped up at lunch and Erika sent up a homeade birthday cake for me. I even ate a piece and it was delicious. Thank you Erika, That was so thoughtful and that was the first food I've had in three days....it was wonderful!

Day 8

2006-07-24T15:08:00.000-04:00

Well the second day of the Cytoxan was not as bad as the first, and I even walked to the lounge while it was running and had vistors and felt OK. First, my brother Doug and Pat came and they brought Barb D to see me. Then my brother, Tony and Connie and their kids came to see me. We had a very nice visit and it is nice that they have such a room to visit in, since my room is so small. Doug brought me a gift from Gale, a punching bag and boxing gloves. Thank you Gale, I was a little teary when I saw them and I am going to hang the goves on my bed! Just so I remember what I have to do ! Then Patti came to visit whenI got back to my room. Today is my day of rest before my new birthday. it feels good to say "no more chemo". Libby stopped up before her appointment with the doctor today and we had a ncie talk with my nurse, I think it helped both of us. We are ready for tomorrow, Libby and I. We are going to beat this thing once and for all. So we are ready for the Magic School Bus ride tomorrow and we will be singing YES I CAN, YES I CAN, YES I CAN, YES I CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Day 6 & 7

2006-07-23T08:10:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was not a good day. The Cytoxan really did me in. the nurse gave me many drugs for all the side effects I was having and that made me sleep the rest of the day. Kyle left about 8:30 and I faguely remember kissing him goodbye. I feel better this morning, but I know as soon as they hang that bag again at noon , it will be more of the same. Thank goodness this is the last day I have to get thet stuff! It might have done me in physically, but it can't take my spirit and my spirit says YES I CAN!